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Blizzard April Fools 2016 Round Up

Опубликовано 2016-04-02 в 00:24 Ketsuki

own post from April 1stIntroducing the Frostdoge ClanОбломок догикамня

Blizzard

A community of peaceful descendants of the Frostwolf clan, the Frostdoge clan secretly inhabits the snowy expanses of Frostfire Ridge. Its members have transcended their ferocious nature to achieve true enlightenment, aided by the powerful influence of the mysterious—and seemingly worthless—Chunks of Dogestone.

Following the wise and peaceful teachings of the great spirit of the Doge, the members of the Frostdoge clan have long worked to avoid joining the ranks with or fighting against the Iron Horde—but as news of Gul’dan’s Burning Legion invasion spread, they have felt driven to interfere in the hopes of saving their homeworld.

Transportation Tensions Mount as Flightmasters Face ‘Flyt’

Blizzard?

Flightmasters have long been fixtures on the faces of Azeroth, Outland, and (more recently) Draenor, giving weary travelers a lift to their next destination in exchange for coin. Heroes in need of rides to their next adventure have come to count on these Flightmasters’ familiar greetings and steadfast reliability. Safety experts report that these ubiquitous Hippogryphs and Wyverns are still among the safest ways to travel, with incidents of passengers simply dropping down to the world “rarer than ever.” But as times change and more travel options become available to the heroes of Azeroth, these stalwart Flightmasters are beginning to feel the pinch.

Enter the service known simply as “Flyt,” which allows customers to simply whisper their destination to a central operator. Flyt then automatically connects travelers with a nearby “transporters” who will shuttle the customer via passenger mounts or portals to their destination—often for just a fraction of the cost of a Flightmaster, and in many cases much faster.

Introducing Azeroth TV

Blizzard

Get ready to experience World of Warcraft on a whole new screen—your television! We’re pleased to introduce our brand-new network—Azeroth TV—which will be coming your way Soon™. You’ll find a truly legendary lineup of entertainment for the whole family. Check out just some of the high-quality programming we have in store below.

Void Storage Wars (Storage Wars)
Follow six pro buyers and their teams as they scour Azeroth looking for their next big haul from repossessed Void Storage units. Experience the mine-cart ride of emotions as they could discover anything from Troll Sweat to the Tremendous Tankard O’Terror, paying as little as 10 copper for items valued in the thousands of gold. What riches lie hidden behind the Ethereal Vaultkeeper’s rags?

Cleaved (Chopped)
Four up-and-coming Azerothian chefs put their reputations—and their lives—on the line in a test of culinary and gladiatorial combat. Each contestant’s entrées will be judged on presentation, taste, and brutatlity. Who will win the 10,000g prize . . . and who will be Cleaved?

Project Transmog (Project Runway)
Eighteen up and coming transmogfication experts get their chance to make waves in the Azeroth fashion scene. Socialite Haris Pilton serves double duty as host and judge and joins fellow style mavens Magistrix Vesara and Magister Arlen to determine the most—and least—outstanding outfits throughout the season.

Keeping UP with the Barovs (Keeping up with the Kardashians)
Meet the family that’s a little bit kooky and a whole lot spooky—the Barovs! Led by noble patriarch Alexei Barov, this blended family brings reality to a whole new level. Join their struggle as they reconcile who they once were with the clan they’ve become—constantly haunted by the spectre of a much fought-over family inheritance.

The Ambulatory Undead (The Walking Dead)
This gritty drama portrays an alternate history in which the Lich King’s undead Scourge were never contained within Northrend. Paladin Brother Sammuel leads survivors from Northshire Abbey in search of a secure home and a fresh start away from the shambling Scourge. Sammuel soon learns that the Light just may not be enough to keep them safe and that the hordes of undead aren’t all they have to fear. Sometimes the gravest danger comes from within. . . .

Vrykul (Vikings)
Follow along in the tale of Drottinn Hrothgar and his people in the epic retelling of the Prose Kvaldir! This thrilling new drama will delve into the saga of these vrykul before they were transformed into the sons of the mists and claimed the island now known as Hrothgar’s Landing in Icecrown.

Blizzard Gear StorePatch Notes

Death Knights: In order to help Death Knights stop being such downers at parties, we’ve added a new stance: Birthday Presence.

Demon Hunters: Spectral Sight will now properly highlight Jaina Proudmoore when activated.

Paladins: Look. We already gave you guys Ashbringer. Isn’t that enough?

Rogues: We felt the name of the “Thuggee” talent did not properly fit into the Assassination Rogue’s class fantasy. We’ve renamed it to “On Fleek.”

Shaman: Ghost Wolf has been renamed “Bark Bark Dog Dog.”

PvP: If you loved Ashran, and miss the full 3-dimensional movement of Vashj’ir, you’ll love our brand new World PvP Water Park: Splashran!

Garrison: Due to feedback from players requesting to “blow up their Garrison”, we’ve added a new Inflatable Garrison toy that you can bring with you everywhere!

hereHearthstone: The MMOHeroes of the Storm

Blizzard

Explore each pixel of your lane up-close to identify prime movement space. Discover convenient hiding spots. Substantiate the argument that your last game loss was the map's fault. Nexus Lane View was conceived for use on websites and mobile devices, with a purpose we can only describe as “indispensable” for Heroes of the Storm players of all skill levels.

But NLV isn’t just available on familiar digital formats in dire need of more zooming. It’s also ready to help you leave the physical world behind, and zoom toward bold new horizons.

We’re entering an age of virtual reality, and we’d be remiss if we didn’t use that technology everywhere it was even remotely possible. Inspired by the manifold interactive realms VR has already conquered, Nexus Lane View will offer you radical new ways to experience Heroes of the Storm virtually: by letting you plant your perspective waist-high in an empty Battleground; soar past objectives, and experience the rush of imagining a Minion wave from ground level (we recommend rapidly moving your head to simulate combat).

If you're thinking, "that sounds like a project that’d be in development for years," you’ve made an incisive point… and yet you’re also completely wrong!

Diablo Merchandise!

Blizzard

Stop . . . Comfy Time.
Hammer Pajammers redefine style and luxury with a striking pattern and extra-extra-roomy fit. 60% cotton, 30% Forgotten Soul, 10% Unknown. Available in sizes Wide–3X Wide.

Careful—the sight of these are sure to stun your friends.

This item does not exist and is unavailable for purchase. Any attempts to purchase this product (which doesn’t exist) will be denied. In fact, how did you get here? What is “here?”
Thank you for your interest in this product.

Keep tabs on your tabby throughout every adventure! For the feline fanatic on the go, this safe and stylish cat harness will charm friends and strangers alike.

Henri sold separately. Warranty not valid in Sanctuary, the Burning Hells, or Delaware. Blizzard Entertainment is not responsible for emotional scarring resulting from salvaging this item.

Does your stomach feel strange? Are you new to digestion and the complications of being mortal? Tyrael’s cookbook details recipes and portion sizes to ensure that even the newly human can enjoy earthly meals without intestinal distress. Etched into its faintly glowing pages you’ll find everything to sate your appetite, from the modest Salad of Lorath to the extravagant Horadric Hamburger.

Don’t leave the High Heavens without it.

Get the full Witch Doctor experience from the comfort of your own home with the Angry Chicken Plush Doll. Just give the belly a squeeze and, after a short two-second delay, watch as a fiery conflagration consumes your surroundings. It’s great at parties!

Caution: This item contains materials that may be hazardous to your health and known to the city of Westmarch to cause spontaneous combustion. Blizzard Entertainment is not responsible for items destroyed in shipping.

Also Coming Soon:

Monk LED Sweeping Wind Desk Lamp
Black Hole Trash Can
The Black Soulstone (Blizzard Entertainment will not be held responsible for absolutely anything that happens as a result of this purchase.)

Starcraft

Blizzard

Though only a lowly member in the zerg's massive army, the Carbot Zergling is a heavy hitter when it comes to laughs and vicious surprises. Recreate the magic of your favorite Carbot shorts by watching the Carbot Zergling scamper across battlefields while plotting your opponents' doom.

Recommended for players with an excellent sense of humor

Crush your foes with punishing attacks like Lick and Tail Wag

Embody the might of the Swarm while occasionally making really ridiculous facial expressions

Blizzard

Millions of StarCraft II players have been giving valuable balance insight for years, but for the first time ever, players will be able to balance the game! Do you have what it takes to be the best? Prove it with BM 2016! Utilize the same tools as the StarCraft II balance team and show us what you got!

BM 2016 brings an incredible amount of depth to the balancing experience. Whether you’re balancing for Ladder, the StarCraft II World Championship Series, or your cousin’s roommate’s LAN party, BM 2016 is the tool for you.

The newly implemented D.K. AI will aid you throughout this journey, even suggesting alternatives to your nerfs/buffs. But beware! Nerfing units can have serious repercussions that ripple throughout the game, so the user interface will warn players before any nerfs are applied.

We saved the best for last—behold, the Balance Manager dashboard! Receive live updates on each and every area of StarCraft II. You’ll also be able to filter by WCS, SSL, SWAG, GSL, YOLO, and even Ladder. This page has lists dedicated to nerfs and buffs, overall performance and win percentage for each race, a newsfeed from all over the world, and even a Confidence Level!

Blizzard

It's time to rev your engines! Brought to you by the creators of StarCraft II, Maximum Novadrive™ is a full throttle look at the Koprulu sector as you've never seen it before.

As Nova Terra, the best ghost in the Dominion, you will take to the mean streets of Sharpsburg with a fully customized vulture-class hover cycle. Navigate freeways depicted in stunning 16-bit graphics that almost let you smell the exhaust as Nova struggles against inattentive drivers and poorly enforced traffic laws!

You can Play this now!

Korean Battle.netKorean Battle.net

Комментарий от SlammerJammer Sad these are April fools jokes some of these things would be pretty cool... Комментарий от regma Kinda wish they had Blingtron in Heroes now. Комментарий от Oixio Vanilla servers ... just put more salt on an open wound Комментарий от Deihjan Min-Maxing your hero with food. Hilarious. Комментарий от SykoSoul I really want that title now =( Комментарий от azahel That's not blingtron, it's V--07-TR-0N
How could you mistake it after gazing upon his magnificence and basking in his glorious... Er... Glory!
Blingtron is just a skin for it. Комментарий от Garwynn Doing April jokes about adding a content is terrible irony. Комментарий от SparkleSparkle These always make me laugh. My fave is still the one about Rogues having to pick up their daggers before they cast FoK again. Комментарий от Azbott Woooo SPL-ASHRAN! Комментарий от PleegWat They've done something very similar to the 'hearthstone MMO' in 2007 - remember Warcraft: Heroes of Azeroth? Комментарий от JillyBean4179 I really really really want a Doge Pup pet. :( Комментарий от qaccy Haha, I love these! Folks who get upset over April Fools' 'announcements' could use some thicker skin. :) Комментарий от JaylahPriest Typing “LFG” or “LFM” into trade chat will now cause you to just open the Group Finder instead.

Such a shame that one wasn't for real. Комментарий от Kitsune42 For the Shaman Ghost Wolf :Bark bark Dog dog! LOL. That would be hilarious.. Confession some of those "announcements" got me. Oh man. Thanks for the laughs Bliz. Комментарий от Renacion Bit sad that "big head mode" didn't come back in Heroes of the Storm. Still, pretty good year. Комментарий от NazarusGG how no one catch this one?

"The talent “Nemesis” has been removed from Demon Hunters, and given to Paladins instead.
Its tooltip now reads: “A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.”

Sorry for the mixup. We only recently learned what Nemesis means

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu0p6CtioZk

shame on all of you Комментарий от SushMew Aw, I would of bought that harness for my cat! Комментарий от ejlejl I want the doge one

Like... that's perfect Комментарий от Muchplox Warlords of Draenor is still the biggest joke in Warcraft history. Комментарий от GreySage By Blingtron, you mean Voltron, right? I mean, it's right there in the picture...

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