How to be an Optimist
written by a Pessimist

1) Неразборчиво написанный список простолюдинов, которых нужно убить ---> Illegible List of Rabble to Raise Hell with Rambunctiously

2) Неразборчиво написанный список цивилизаций, которые нужно уничтожить ---> Illegible List of Cultures to Crush On and Covet in a Considerate Manner

3) Неразборчиво написанный список героев, которых нужно повесить ---> Illegible List of Heroes to Hang Out With for Happy Hour Hearthstone (and Maybe Even Monday Morning Mahjong)

yes I know I kind of cheated on the first one because I had to change "raze" to "raise" but it still f***ing rhymes and anyways this is supposed to be a POSIITIVE comment so BE POSITIVE
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If everything they write is illegible, though... is there even a point in writing at all?
Example:
(excerpt from "The Dumbass Mogu Adventures of Frank and Jon... Life at the Office: a Memoir", preserved by the DAS (Dalaran Archaeological Society) with special thanks to Lorewalker Cho for the gracious donation)

JON: "Hey! Frank." // FRANK: "Yeah, Jon?"
J: "Did you get my memo?" // F: "Yeah, but I can't read it, Jon; it's illegible. What's it say?"
J: "It says to add a tape dispenser to the list of items we need to order from Staples." // F: "Oh."

F: "Hey! Jon." // J: "Yeah, Frank?"
F: "Did you get my reply to your memo?" // J: "Yeah, but I can't read it, it's illegible. We go over this every time, Frank, like 30 times a day. What's it say?"
F: "It says 'Ok.'" // J: "Ok, thanks, Frank."

J: "Hey! Frank." // F: "Yeah, Jon?"
J: "Why the f*** haven't we developed a manner of writing or a system of visually ascertained language that is actually legible, so as to be efficient instead of doing this s*** all the time?" //
F: "Because we keep making reminder memos to remind ourselves to do it, but then we can't read the memos because they're illegible... and then we forget what we even wrote on the memo in the first place."
J: "I see. Thank you, Frank. Carry on." // F: "No problem, Jon! Of course,"
J: "Hey, Frank! One more thing." // F: "Yes, Jon?"
J: "Those Pandaren in the Vale -- how many days was it that we told them they had to surrender their ancient artifacts to us, before we pillaged their villages and temples?" //
F: "I'm not sure off the top of my head, Jon; let me check. It'll be a while since I can't read what I wrote, but I'll get a memo back to you when I find out."

holy f*** you actually read all of this s***? you must be as bored as I am! sorry you just spent 2(-ish?) minutes of your life reading nonsense, that's 2 minutes you'll never get back.
are you still an optimist?
didn't think so.

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